tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66368757904521315112011-06-16T14:26:20.340-07:00Who's the Boss? - The Life of EntreprenuersMaking light of the successes, failures and mind of entreprenuers.Boss Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12376620577421240867noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6636875790452131511.post-18697694039447826152011-05-15T14:22:00.000-07:002011-05-15T14:22:09.524-07:00Even on Groggy Days<em><strong>On this rainy, grey, Sunday afternoon when most people are relaxing, I'm working. I believe in taking care of business with a great big smile on my face. I try to stay positive no matter how things look....</strong></em><br /><br /><br />A landscape gardener ran a business that had been in the family for two or three generations. The staff were happy, and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the staff work on their gardens or make deliveries - anything from bedding plants to ride-on mowers.<br /><br />For as long as anyone could remember, the current owner and previous generations of owners were extremely positive happy people.<br /><br />Most folk assumed it was because they ran a successful business.<br /><strong> </strong><br />In fact it was the other way around...<br /><br />A tradition in the business was that the owner always wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great! <br /><br />The business was indeed generally great, although it went through tough times like any other. What never changed however was the owner's attitude, and the badge saying "<strong>Business Is Great!"<br /></strong><br />Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably asked, "What's so great about business?" Sometimes people would also comment that their own business was miserable, or even that they personally were miserable or stressed. <br /><strong></strong> <br />Anyhow, the <strong>Business Is Great!</strong> badge always tended to start a conversation, which typically involved the owner talking about lots of positive aspects of business and work, for example: <br /><br /><div id="topContent"><div id="topMenu"><br /><li><strong>the pleasure of meeting and talking with different people every day </strong></li><br /><input name="cx" type="hidden" value="010837026464449256333:yhagejcms80" /><input name="cof" type="hidden" value="FORID:11" /><input name="ie" type="hidden" value="UTF-8" /><br /><strong>* the reward that comes from helping staff take on new challenges and experiences </strong><br /><form action="http://www.businessballs.com/search-businessballs.htm" id="cse-search-box"><br /><div><br /><li><strong>the fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work environment</strong></li><br /></div><div><br /><li><strong>the fascination in the work itself, and in the other people's work and businesses </strong></li><br /></div><div><br /><li><strong>the great feeling when you finish a job and do it to the best of your capabilities</strong></li><br /></div><div><strong>* the new things you learn every day -</strong><br /><br /><li><strong>and the thought that everyone in business is blessed - because there are many millions of people who would swap their own situation to have the same opportunities of doing a productive meaningful job, in a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real worries. </strong></li><br /><br />And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a person was, they'd usually end up feeling a lot happier after just a couple of minutes listening to all this infectious enthusiasm and positivity. <br /><strong> </strong><strong> </strong></div><div>It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this, but to one extent or another it's probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, on which point, if asked about the badge in a quiet moment, the business owner would confide: </div><div></div><div><strong> </strong><strong> </strong></div><div><strong>"The badge came first. The great business followed."</strong><br /><br /><br /><em>Stay Positive!</em><br /><br /><br /><em><strong>The Boss Lady</strong></em></div></form></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6636875790452131511-1869769403944782615?l=whostheboss.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Boss Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12376620577421240867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6636875790452131511.post-60342976247207613902011-05-14T08:57:00.001-07:002011-05-14T10:54:09.624-07:00<em><strong>The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed' <br /><span class="author"> Dorothy Parker</span></strong></em><br /><br /><br />Being self employed has its ups and downs but for those of us who maintain an income from it, we wouldn't have any other way! I decided to start this blog because so many people think I have something important to say about business. So on the advice of those people....here I go. <br /><br />Now first things first, as any good entreprenuer would, I've mulled this decision over and over before I jumped at it. Of course my first thought was, how can I make some money at this? (notice the ads to come) Secondly, I agree! I do have something important to say! Somethings you may not agree with but, you will get a laugh if nothing else.<br /><br />Those of you who are not self-employed and wonder makes us tick. I mean what really does go thru the mind of an entreprenuer. Well I invite you into our world. Sit back, hold on and read this....<br /><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: block;"> <h5 align="center"><span style="font-size: small;">What is Two and Two?</span></h5><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant, "What is two and two?"</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Brown, two and two was proven to be four.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice..."How much do you want it to be?"</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">He got the job.</span></div></div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">The Ruthless Executive</h5><div align="left">A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw a sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an extremely long line, while no-one was in front of the Capitalist Hell. The executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"</div>The guard replied, "They whip you, boil you in oil, and then put you on the rack." <br />"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"<br />"The same exact thing," the guard answered.<br />"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"<br />"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of whips, oil, and racks!"</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Overseas Advertising Blunders</h5><ol><li> Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."<br /></li><li> When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with a beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies prefer to put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.<br /></li><li> Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.<br /></li><li> Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.<br /></li><li> The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."</li></ol></div>Hope you enjoyed! <br /><br /><br /><strong>The Boss Lady</strong><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Funny Slogan Translations</h5><div align="center">From "American Demographics" magazine:</div>When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in Leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly Naked."<br /><span class="author">Braniff</span><br /><br />Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."<br /><span class="author">Coors Beer</span><br /><br />Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."<br /><span class="author">Perdue's Chicken</span><br /><br />Puffs tissues tried to introduce its product, only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse.<br /><span class="author">Puffs Tissues</span><br /><br />The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. "No Va" means "It Does Not Go" in Spanish. <br /><span class="author">Chevy Nova</span></div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">True Tales: Computer Genius</h5>A neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Office Dictionary Humor: Part I</h5>APPLY IN PERSON: <br />If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.<br />CAREER-MINDED: <br />Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).<br />CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: <br />We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.<br />COMPETITIVE SALARY: <br />We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. <br />DUTIES WILL VARY: <br />Anyone in the office can boss you around.<br />JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: <br />We have no time to train you. <br />MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: <br />You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. <br />MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: <br />We have no quality control.<br />NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: <br />We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.<br />SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: <br />Some time each night and some time each weekend. </div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Office Dictionary Humor: Part II</h5>ADAPTABLE: <br />I've changed jobs a lot. <br />ALWAYS ON THE GO: <br />I'm never at my desk. <br />EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: <br />I've used Microsoft Office. <br />EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: <br />I carry a Day-Timer. <br />HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: <br />The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here. <br />HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: <br />I pilfer office supplies. <br />PERSONABLE: <br />I give lots of unsolicited personal advice. <br />PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: <br />You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. <br />REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: <br />You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay <br />or respect. <br />SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: <br />You'll need it to replace three people who just left. <br />TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: <br />I blame others for my mistakes.</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Salary Theorem</h5>Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:<br />Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.<br />Postulate 2: Time is Money.<br />As every engineer and scientist knows: Power = Work/Time.<br />If (Knowledge = Power) and (Time = Money) then Knowledge = Work/Money.<br />Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work/Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.<br />Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Branding Humor</h5>A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.<br />"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."<br />"But where are all your cattle?"<br />"So far, none have survived the branding." </div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Regrettable Quotes: Part I</h5>Everything that can be invented has been invented.<br /><span class="author">Charles H. Duell</span>, Office of Patents, 1899<br />There will never be a bigger plane built.<br /><span class="author">A Boeing Engineer</span>, after the first flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that carried ten people.<br />Ours has been the first, and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.<br /><span class="author">Lt. Joseph Ives</span>, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861<br />We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."<br /><span class="author">Decca Executive</span>, 1962, after turning down the Beatles<br />With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the US market.<br /><span class="author">Business Week</span>, August 2, 1968</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Regrettable Quotes: Part II</h5>There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.<br /><span class="author">Ken Olson</span>, president of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977<br />This telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. <br /><span class="author">Western Union</span>, memo, 1876<br />No imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?<br /><span class="author">David Sarnoff's associates</span> in response to his urging investment in the radio in the 1920's<br />Who wants to hear actors talk?<br /><span class="author">H.M. Warner</span>, Warner Brothers, 1927</div><br /><div class="contentdiv" style="display: none;"> <h5 align="center">Regrettable Quotes: Part III</h5>Market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.<br /><span class="author">Response to Debbi Fields</span>' idea of Mrs. Fields' Cookies<br />We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.<br /><span class="author">Hewlett Packard </span>excuse to Steve Jobs, who founded Apple Computers instead.<br />I think there's a world market for about five computers.<br /><span class="author">Thomas J. Watson</span>, chairman of the board of IBM<br />While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility.<br /><span class="author">Lee DeForest</span>, inventor<br />Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.<br /><span class="author">William Thomson</span>, Lord Kelvin English scientist, 1899</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6636875790452131511-6034297624720761390?l=whostheboss.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Boss Ladyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12376620577421240867noreply@blogger.com0